Kids dating too young
He glanced at her in the seat next to him and thought, .Usually Bill and his daughter made small talk on their brief ride home. Bill was concerned about the growing emotional distance between them. for now.” A tense silence filled the car as it eased forward and stopped in the driveway.* Bill is definitely a courageous dad, pressing into a relational hot spot where most parents fear to tread.
Until a couple of weeks later, when she came home with some news.“Mathew* asked me out,” she told me. About a week into their romance - which consisted of Skype messages and games at recess - the entire Year 5 were summoned in for a Talk.Sure, he knew this gap was normal for teenagers and their parents. “Okay,” he replied, “I’ll take that for an answer . Although it’s uncomfortable, he’s definitely on the right track.But he wasn’t ready yet to surrender his role as a parent. Just what role should parents play to steer a child away from the traps in the most popular sport for many teens—the dating game? For us, dating or courting is a small part of the overall process of determining God’s will for discovering your life partner in marriage.One of the most common questions divorced parents ask me is: When should I introduce my new partner to my children?My best answer is to take your time dating after divorce and don’t introduce your new love to your kids if you are dating casually.As the horde of rush-hour cars streamed by, Bill reminisced about the teenage daughter he had just picked up from band practice.
He smiled as he thought about all those after-school trips over the last few years: dance classes, piano practices, the unending cycle of softball games and tournaments.
He hoped the conversation he was about to initiate would help close that gap. ” he asked, struggling to disguise the wobble he felt in his voice. Bill gripped the steering wheel and shot a glance into her eyes. Bill and his wife had talked before with Julie about God’s standards about sex, but soon she would be dating and making moral choices on her own. They were just a block from home, so gently but firmly, Bill pressed the final question: “Well then, would you mind telling me how far you intend to go? ” He stopped the car a few feet short of the driveway and feigned a look into the mailbox. If he had waited for a month, he wouldn’t have been ready for what she said. In our family the focus has not been on dating, but more on training our teens in their character and in how to develop a relationship with the opposite sex.
He had prayed for an opportunity to talk to her alone—without her three brothers around. “Oh, okay,” Julie replied, in cryptic teenage fashion. “Have you thought through how far you are going to go, physically, with the opposite sex? They wanted to encourage her to make the right ones. He knew his wife always got the mail, but Julie was acting like a basketball team ahead by one point in the fourth quarter, hoping the clock would run out. Our teens do not go out on a date every Friday and Saturday night.
And it wasn’t on bullying, as they’ve covered that many times. This doesn’t mean actually going anywhere; at 10 and 11 years old, these kids are too young to go to the movies alone, let alone go out to dinner.
It meant being boyfriend and girlfriend, a couple, what we used to call ‘going round together’ back in the for goodness sake.
While it’s normal to seek solace, companionship, and a sexual relationship after a breakup, it’s crucial to take it slow so you can assess whether this relationship is casual or might be permanent.