Dating without intimacy
There are many people today living together without being married. ” Without addressing the moral and biblical angle of the issue, let me talk about intimacy and why married (committed) couples can enjoy much greater intimacy than those unwilling to commit.First of all, the primary reason people live together without being married is that one or both parties are unwilling to commit on a higher level.
You’re likely to take risks, to tell the truth, to go as deep as possible. The point is not to prohibit yourself from having multiple dates with the same person. But think about how rarely anyone acknowledges them out loud.If getting undressed too early has been an issue in the past, holding off is a good move to see if a partner is really worth the time and effort to keep them.Be Proactive When dating a new person, it is best to get a feel for how they take things.“The pursuit of marriage” was a warm and justifying pullover to wear over my conscience when things started to go too far physically and emotionally. That simple equation would have saved me and the girls I dated all kinds of grief, heartache, and regret. Think about your last first kiss in a relationship (if you’ve already kissed someone). You knew you were risking something, that this wasn’t the safest way to give yourself to someone. We want to share life with someone of the opposite sex who will be involved and invested in what we’re doing and what we care about.I craved intimacy, and I knew I would find it in marriage.
So, I punched “marriage” into Google Maps, jumped on the highway, and ignored the speed limits.
The cohabiting relationship allows them to check the other person out on a trial basis before deciding if they measure up.
In other words, it’s all about how good the other person is at making them happy and meeting their needs. We just won’t open our hearts to someone we fear might desert or forsake us. That is why marriage and commitment in marriage is so vital to intimacy.
What was driving you most in those brief moments before you let your lips touch?
For me, every first kiss was driven more by my own desires than by God’s desires for me.
I don’t care how good you are, how honest, or how noble. The real problem is that you’re postponing, sacrificing the date that’s happening now on the altar of potential future partnership. Everything frustrating, discouraging, and disappointing about dating comes from this future-orientation. You don’t need to organize your dates around a possible future. As a result, they can feel what’s beautiful about you. Creating intimacy is a skill you can get better and better at. Something about the way they move through the world, or something they can see that you can’t.