Bad for shidduchim dating blog
I am not looking for personal preferences, but actual Torah sources (Tanach, Talmud, Mishna, Midrash etc.).The Talmud says when you look into a prospective girl you should look into her brothers (Bava Basra 110a).
Are there any sources in the Torah that list the qualities and traits one should look for when going on shidduchim?When Eliezer goes to find Rivka his test is if she is a Baalas Chesed, again checking out her Midos. There are number of categories of people one may not marry, so one should make sure that the person one is planning on marrying isn't in any of these categories. לא מצא בת גבאי צדקה, ישא בת מלמדי תינוקות, ואל ישיא בתו לעם הארץ: הגה: ועל בנותיהן הוא אומר: ארור שוכב עם בהמה. ומצוה לאדם שישא בת אחותו (גמרא בסנהדרין וביבמות), ויש אומרים אף בת אחיו (הרמב"ם פרק ב דהלכות איסורי ביאה): roughly translated a person should always try to marry a daughter of a "Talmid Chacham", and marry off his daughter to a "Talmid Chacham", if he did not find a daughter of a "Talmid Chacham" he should marry a daughter of a "Godol" of the generation, if he did not find a daughter of a "Godol" of the generation he should marry a daughter of a "leader of the gatherings" (i saw an explanation that this means the one who decides who gets kibudim (aliyois) in the shul), if he did not find a daughter of a "leader of the gatherings" he should marry a daughter of a "gabai tedoko", if he did not find a daughter of a "gabai tedoko" he should marry a daughter of a teacher of children. [Hago: about their daughters it says "Cursed be he that lieth with an animal" (Deuteronomy 27 21) all this is concerning an "am hoorets" that is not scrupulous in mitsvois.This is my blog for topics of general, Jewish interest, named for the magazine I launched in 2005. Follow on Twitter or on Google under Ariella Brown. It's posted at checked but couldn't find a parallel list for boys.A huge thank you to my internet server (who also provides my filter) for figuring out why my internal control panel on my blog has been blocked from me for the last week! ) respond to some concerns/questions that were expressed about the shidduch system after my last post.As highly as I think of the shidduch approach, that doesn’t mean that I’m oblivious to areas where there is room for improvement.Comprehensive investigations are not only taking place in the more “right wing” orthodox communities, but are becoming increasingly customary in modern orthodox circles as well.
As a parent who wants to protect and guard my children as much as anyone, I can only imagine the desire that will swell up in me when my children are dating, please God, to do forensic detective work and uncover absolutely everything about whomever might win the heart of my child and contribute to the spiritual and physical genetics of my future grandchildren.
Rav Yaakov Kaminetzky is reported to have said that this no longer applies, as it was said in a time when girls stayed in the home and that was their primary sphere of influence.
However, today a girl will be influenced by a much broader sphere and her brothers are not as strong of indicators.
” “Is anyone in her family currently receiving counseling or therapy and for what?
” “Does the father come to Shul during the week or only on Shabbos?
It is currently accepted, that when starting a new shidduch, the boy doesn't call the girl directly to schedule the date.